September 23rd, 2006
September 19th, 2006
I'm getting married in 3 months. That should scare me, but the most scary thing about it is that I'm still so unsure about the actual wedding...not the whole "to have and to hold part". I want to get married. Alan is who I'm going to be with...now I just need to decide what flowers to have and who to get them from and how many damn invitations I need and so on. I should have these things done, but I am doing an internship. And for anyone who is saying to them self, "Why don't you ask your own mother for help...the woman who gave birth to you??" That's a good freakin question, because she seems to have forgotten that I exist.
She is no help. She is funding this venture, mind you, but other than writing an occasional check, I'm on my own. So, if anyone would just love to be my FREE wedding planner, let me know.
I need flowers. Music. Invitations. Basically that's it. I've gotten everything else.
Oh. my mom did get the caterer. Is that even how you spell it?? Who knows. But I had to decide the amount of each food item being served, the budget etc. etc. etc. on and on and on it goes!!! BLAH.
Here is my ONE piece of advice to anyone who ever wants to get married.
Step 1: Find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and love with all of your heart
Step 2: Get in the car, drive to the liquor store. Buy some champagne and/or your choice of celebratory spirits
Step 3: Procede to the court house. Get married. Go on a honeymoon. Tell your parents later. They will be HAPPY.
There you go. Wedding 101. COURTHOUSE!!!!
Current Mood: cranky
August 24th, 2006
I got a new computer. It's a Dell Laptop. I'm excited. I will now be on the internet a lot more.
August 13th, 2006
Well. To anyone who is interested, I'm still alive. I'm sure that a lot of people have been saying to themselves "Where the hell is Erin this summer??" And it's a good question. I have asked myself the same question many times over the past few months.
I've been working. Nonstop. But I've always done that. Right now I feel really disconnected with the person that I use to be. It's weird moving on to different phases in your life. I'm not completely ok with the changes that have been going on lately. I miss my friends. I miss them more than anything. I miss the life that I use to have. I hate living so far away from everything. I got so use to my apartment being a gathering place. I got spoiled to the many various people who would stop by and hang out. The random parties that would break out or the gatherings at other locations in Montevallo.
Mostly, the reason I've disappeared is because I've quit trying. I quit trying to be the social butterfly that I once was. What people don't know about me is that at heart, I'm really inclined to be a loner homebody. If I get stuck in a place, I stay there. It takes a lot to get me out of these kinds of moods.
I'm trying to get out of this weird mood I've been in. I miss you all. Seriously I do. I'm trying.
July 16th, 2006
|02:37 pm - RANDOM STUPID SURVEY|
(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)
( it goes on...Collapse )
|✓ I miss somebody right now.
|| × I don't watch much TV these days.
||✓ I own lots of books.
|✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses.
|| × I love to play video games.
|| × I've tried marijuana.
| × I've watched porn movies.
|| × I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
||✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
|✓ I curse sometimes.
||✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
|| × I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
Current Mood: bored
July 11th, 2006
I'm on a mission to be the skinniest that I've ever been. Or at least match what I was a couple of years ago. I'm on the way, but I have very little will power right now. So, if anyone sees me eating a chili cheese fry from Sonic, punch me in the face. I will be so grateful.
July 3rd, 2006
My cell phone is offically gone. I'm getting a new one on Wednesday, thank god.
This morning, my grandfather died. Both of my gradparents on my Dad's side within one week. I'm having mixed feelings because I'm not sure what to feel. I'm trying to be strong for my other family, but it really is upsetting. I feel so bad for my dad. Both parents within a few days of each other.
I'm probably flying to West Palm Beach for the funerals sometime this week. No one really knows what is going on.
I did get to see Alan this weekend, which made things a lot better. He calmed me down a lot and had helped to put things into perspective about the next 6 months.
OH.... And I registered at Bed Bath and Beyond yesterday. Everyone needs to go look at my stuff and decide what you are going to buy me :)
June 27th, 2006
It feels like it's been a while since I've posted something real on lj. I'll echo what Bean said, I think my lj time is dying out. But, I'll probably keep posting until I have absolutely no time ever to write meaningless things to an audience of people, only a few of which I actually communicate with on a regular basis. Oh well. People grow and move on. I still love lj. I just don't have the fervor for it that I did when I was like 19. God, that feels like such a long time ago.
I also wanted anyone that I haven't told to know that my grandmother passed away last night. It was my dad's mom, who lived in Florida. We are leaving on Thursday to head down to Tampa for a while. Alan is driving over. Jacksonville is about 3 hours or so from there. I am having mixed feelings right now, because despite the fact that we weren't close, she is my grandmother and it's really rough watching my dad go through this right now. It's making me appreciate my family a little more and be more careful about what I say.
I've been a huge bitch lately. I won't deny it. I hate living here and it shows to everyone in my house. I'm trying...but it's not that easy. I like my job, for the most part. And I only have to work there for 5 more weeks. My internship starts in less than 8 weeks. I'm really excited about getting things going.
Mostly, I miss my old life. I miss my independence and I miss being close to my friends. I miss having a roommate who wasn't related to me (by blood anyway :) ) I have whined to Alan about this for so long, and he has given me the best outlook on things. He has really made me see that it's time for me to grow up. I HATE growing up. I will always be a kid at heart, but sometimes, you have to move on. For so long, I was so sad about leaving Montevallo because it reminded me of Jared. And I do miss seeing places everyday that bring back the good memories that we had. But, my life is moving on. It's time for a new chapter, I guess.
AND...For anyone who ever thought that Alan had no sweetness in him at all...He was going to drive up here on Thursday night after he got off work at 6pm and surprise me at work on Friday morning with flowers. HOW SWEET IS THAT??? But I get to see him this weekend anyway. I'm leaving the family thing early to spend Saturday and Sunday night in Jacksonville. Yay.
Well. Happy 4th of July, because I probably won't post again for a while.
June 24th, 2006
I want someone to plan my wedding. Right now. Because I thought that it would be fun. I was wrong.
Tomorrow is mine and Alan's 1 year anniversary. To celebrate I'm going to my cousin's wedding shower... to be reminded that I have 6 more months until my wedding. 6 more long miserable months in Pell City.
In the one year that we've been together, we have spent a total of about 4 1/2 months in the same location. I can't wait to just BE WHERE HE IS. That's all I want right now. To just be able to spend time with him instead of trying to squeeze in a 10 minute phone call here and there. I just want to be with my best friend. That's all. I'm feeling kind of empty lately. I miss him a lot more now than I ever have. I never imagined that missing a person could be so painful.
June 18th, 2006
Where do I start??
I just got home from Jacksonville. What an awesome city. It's beachy and city like at the same time. It's beautiful. The only problem now is that I don't feel like I belong anywhere. I'm stuck between what I call my home now, and what I wish was my home. I felt at home there. Mainly because Alan was there...but I feel like I'm really starting to move on. Move on with being an adult and moving on to the things that I've always wanted to do with my life.
It was an extremely emotinal week, starting with seeing him come in on the ship, and walking down the little ramp with a dozen roses and his summer whites on. And then today I had to leave him again. Just like I always do. But I felt like I was completely abandoning him in a place that we were supposed to be together. I know. I'm sappy. But it's weird. I wish I could explain a fraction of what's going on inside of my head right now.
I keep thinking of something Jared said to me about 2 weeks before he died. He was ranting about everyone moving and getting married and graduating. And he said "This summer just isn't going to be the same as last year." He couldn't have been more right.